Taking That Bold First Step: Karen's Story

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00:01 This is not a comfort podcast. This is a confrontation. If you're looking for soft motivation, easy answers, or permission to stay the same, this isn't for you. This is for those who've been overweight, addicted, broken, finally tired of making peace with their own excuses. Here, we choose discipline over comfort, faith over feelings, action over intention. We train the body, sharpen the mind, and rebuild the spirit one hard decision at a time. This is

00:31 where the old you ends and the strong one is earned. This is the Body by Phil podcast. Welcome back to the Body by Phil podcast. This is Phil. In today's episode, I have my very dear friend, client, and now um one of our newest personal trainers with me today, and her name is Karen Heims. And I met Karen several years ago. She came to me as a client and was battling all sorts of different adversities in her life,

01:02 filled with apprehension, very much like I was when I would first went to see a trainer, wasn't sure what to expect, nervous to say the least, and really unsure about if this was the right move for her or not. What kind of success was she going to have? Was this just going to be something that was attempted and ultimately failed? And And that resonated with me right away as it does with most clients because I remember that day. I remember it quite well when I was filled with the same sorts of emotions. And um it's a scary thing, especially when you walk into a place uh

01:32 in your way outside your element and you really don't know what to expect. So, when I when I am in front of somebody like that, the first thing I want to do right away is is ease them and let them know number one that they're okay, that they're going to be okay, that their goals, whatever they may be, are going to be reached slowly and steadily, and you know, take a big deep breath and kind of relax. So, I want you guys to hear a little bit about Karen. We're going to go back and forth from some of the things that we did in our early days, some of the things that we did

02:03 together as far as some of our training that we actually would train and work out together. And the the inspiration that we have seen from Karen was so profound that it prompted me to actually ask her if she would become one of our Body by Phil trainers because the things she had to battle were really quite incredible and how she came out of that. And I don't like to, you know, bring up people's age or anything, but I think in in Karen's case, the age factor is one of the primary sources of inspiration. And I'll let her talk to you a little

02:34 bit about that. So, anyway, Karen, thank you so much for being my very first guest on Body by Phil. And I want you to go back to to the that first day when we first met. And tell me a little bit about what was going on in your mind when you walked through these doors. >> That was a life-changing moment me coming in. I was scared to death, absolutely terrified of meeting you. I had never been to an a trainer. In fact, I never exercised in my life, ever. That was not a priority for me. I met you a month before I turned 72. I was 71 when

03:06 I came. I was definitely overweight. My highest weight was 205, which I'm embarrassed about. Thankfully, I've lost 70 lb and I'm very happy with that. Still would like to lose some more, but I was scared coming in here. The only thing I had ever seen about a trainer before was that show The Biggest Loser. And I'm like, that's not for me. Nobody's screaming at me like that. And I'm like, I I can't do any of that. I was very depressed. I'd been a widow for 5 years when I came here. My life was lonely. My children

03:38 don't live here, so I don't get the opportunity to see them every day. Um very depressed, very out of shape, terrified to meet you. I was shook like a leaf the entire time we were having our little um discussion. And I'm like, "Oh my god, I'm going to I think I'm going to have a heart attack." It's just scary. >> So, once we started training together and what what would you say was your primary goal? What was it that that made you say, "Okay, I need to embark on something to change my life." What what

04:09 was it that was your primary motivation? >> I did not want to be a burden to my children as I got old. I want to be as independent as I possibly can. Three of them live in Columbus, one in North Carolina. So, they're not close, like 20 minutes down the street. And I don't like relying on people. I like to be very self-sufficient and do it myself. And at that point I couldn't do anything. I could had a hard time getting up off the floor by myself. And I'm like, "This is not looking good." So, I needed a change and as scared as I

04:40 was, I did come in here and you were very kind, very compassionate. You told me your story and I'm like, "Wow, you've gone through many things in your life that I had never experienced." And I'm thinking, "If he can do it, then why can't I?" >> Well, that's that's really great. And the people that are listening to these podcasts, you know, from the first one all the way to what do we have, eight or nine of these so far? I like to really hit that that mark hard that it all started with my own struggles and those who don't know, I suffered from alcohol

05:12 addiction and obesity for 20-plus years of my life and I was just so in a rut and I had those same fears and anxieties and I thought, you know, I'm not getting any younger and I was afraid that I was going to actually, you know, leave this earth or die prematurely and leave my son, you know, without a positive role model. So, you know, I I think that that moment of revelation, I like to call it, or or that moment where we know that something needs to change in our life, it's a scary time because we we may feel ready to make the change, we just might

05:45 not know how. And I used to try to do things on my own all the time. I would try and fail and try and fail and really to no avail. Nothing was really working for me until I put my trust into somebody else that was going to help me and that changed the entire destiny of the rest of my life, you know, and that's why I'm a trainer now today because I was so inspired by how somebody put it all out there for me to help me really not knowing me, a total stranger and believed in me and supported me and helped me and was kind because I saw push us too where

06:16 everybody's yelling and screaming and throwing things at you and I'm like, "Oh my gosh, I don't I don't think I'm ready for anything like that." But it was the opposite. It was it was filled with compassion and love and and, you know, one day at a time and it was a really I never really had that in my life. I really didn't have that kind of support factor. So, when I was around it, it became very infectious. I wanted to to hold on to that and keep that. So, when I became a trainer, I wanted to make sure that people's anxieties and fears were put to rest as soon as they walk in here. Let them know that, "Okay,

06:46 we're on a little journey here together. This is going to take a little time, but we're in it together and I think, you know, I believe in safety in numbers. When we work together as a team, as a unit, great things happen." Did you tell your family before you were going to do this? Did Did you let anybody know? Did you kind of keep it secret? >> No, I kept it a secret. >> Okay. How did they feel when you did tell them? What What was What was their thought? >> tell them until probably 2 weeks later after I had come here several times and I'm like, "I think I could do this." And then my I did walk on a treadmill

07:17 occasionally, not every day at home, but I did walk on it. My oldest daughter was doing a marathon down in Disney and she asked me to go with her. She said, "Mom, how about can you do the 5K?" And I go, "I don't run. I can walk fast, but I don't run." And I said, "Well, I'll ask Phil if he thinks cuz you had to walk a mile within 15 minutes." And I said, "I don't know if I could do that." At that time I was walking 3.6 speed on the treadmill and you said, "Oh, you're almost there. Just a couple

07:47 more notches up and you've got it. You can do it." So, I told her she was all excited and she kept saying, "Well, just keep going, you know, just encouraging me." And I would tell her what I did at the gym that day and she goes, "Oh my gosh, I can't believe you did that. I can't do that. And you did it?" >> So, when you trained for that and then you actually got to go and do this with your daughter. How What was the outcome? How did that turn out? >> It was fantastic. I I was like shocked. I'd never been to a marathon before. The amount of people there was overwhelming and

08:18 we did I did it with her and we did it in like I think it was like 31 minutes for the 5K just walking past. I saw that the end I saw the end of that marathon and the tears were just I'm like, "I can't believe I actually did this." >> And you know, and this is why I want to have guests on here for exactly this purpose. You know, we are real people. We are real people that started off with these struggles and adversities and through a little bit of a train training

08:49 and through preparing and through building our confidence up. I mean, it there's no way you could have walked in here that day and then in a week after, you know, attempt something like this. It was a a matter of of taking time, being very patient, being very consistent, having that support factor that we always talk about and going into it with your head high and confident. You know, maybe a new found confidence that that you've never had. I know when I when I was ready to take the bodybuilding stage for the very first time, you know, I was nervous but I I

09:19 felt confident. I mean, you're talking about a guy who would never take a shirt off uh for anything cuz I was so embarrassed about my performance or how I how I appeared. To being able to go onto a bodybuilding stage wearing nothing but a little little bikini brief and posing and and doing this in front of hundreds of people, there's a confidence behind that that is it's hard to explain until you've actually felt it. So, after after the run, I remember how happy you were and how excited. I remember you came back and we continued on with our training and something about Karen that I I

09:51 recognized right away was no matter what once her confidence was up, no matter what I would throw at her, she was willing to not only attempt, but wanted to break records. She wanted to push and see how hard can I push to the next level. It wasn't enough to just do a standard amount of reps or a standard amount of weight to do the same thing over and over again. And I remember we started actually training for some powerlifting things, some almost like a like a competition type of a mode. I I had her doing bench press, I'd had her

10:21 doing squats and dead lifts because at her age at that time, I think her closer to 76 maybe 75 76. And she was only about 10 lb away on bench press from breaking the Ohio state record in her category in her age group. And COVID hit and stuff like that, so thing things happened when we had to kind of step step back from that. But share with me a little bit about how fitness has has transformed you not only physically, but mentally as the weeks went by, as the months went by and now

10:53 as the years have gone by. Share with me a little bit about how your mental state was when I first met you and where it is now. >> When I first met you, I was very depressed. I had no confidence in doing anything at the gym. I had never trained before. I was training with you for 4 months when I did that marathon and that I think was the turning point. I actually succeeded. My daughter has run many marathons, but I never ever did anything like that. So, I was really proud of my little accomplishment and

11:23 then I would come to the gym and it started at one day a week and then when I was doing the marathon, then it went up to two days a week and eventually it morphed into four, five, and now it's 6 days a week. And it's my life. It makes me feel better. I feel much stronger physically, mentally, emotionally. I have confidence in myself and I don't think there's anything that I can't do. >> I will definitely testify to that. And you know, it's funny because when I was training for the Murph competition a

11:55 couple years back, I needed somebody that was going to help push me, too. And if you don't know what the Murph competition is, this was uh named after a Lieutenant Michael Murphy. He was a Marine who was killed in action in Afghanistan in the 2000s. And he used to do a workout, him and his buddies, and they would do this every day. And what the Murph competition is, and it's usually performed every Memorial Day in honor of uh you know, of uh Lieutenant Murphy. It starts with a 1-mile run. Uh you do a 1-mile run and

12:27 then it you do uh 100 pull-ups, 200 push-ups, and 300 body squats. And then it's followed up by another you finish with a 1-mile run. And you do this with a weighted vest. And you only have 1 hour to complete this. So I thought one day, who can I get this crazy enough to help me train for this? So one day I just walked in and I told Karen, I said, "Okay, in today's exercise here, we're going to train for the Murph." And she didn't have no idea what that was. She was like, "Okay." And so we trained for

12:57 it. And I got to tell you, she's one of the very few one of the only people here, one of the few that actually completed this with a weighted vest, exactly that. A 1-mile run, 100 pull-ups, uh 200 push-ups, 300 squats, and then we end with a 1-mile run. And you know, that's just a serious testimony, you know, to to hear somebody who wanted to be able to walk, who wanted to be able to get up off of the floor if they were to fall. And these things were challenging. These things were scary to her. And then to turn that

13:28 into just a couple years later be able to do one of the hardest workouts I've ever done in my life. And and to be able to do that, and we've done it a few times since then. And what happens, and I do what happen, is people witness this, just like they witnessed my transformation in the gym, and they would say, "Phil, I can't believe what you're doing. You know, I've been coming to this gym for years and years, and in 1 year, you not only lost 140 lb, but now you're competing and you're breaking all these records." This was a mental state, but it also started to inspire other people to believe in themselves. And this would happen here at my studio

14:00 here. People would say, "I want to do what she's doing. How long has she been coming here? How old is she?" Wow, exactly what she said about me, if she look at me and say, "Wow, he's been through a lot, but if he could do it, you know, maybe I can." And it started happening in her case. People would witness her doing these feats and say, "Wow, do you think I could do that, too?" So, we would start training, and eventually what that turned out to be was I finally had to go to Karen and say, "We have a whole client list of people that I think you would be perfect for as a personal fitness trainer. You

14:32 know, do you think um you would be interested in that?" Tell me what you thought when I first off uh offered that position. >> I thought you were crazy. I thought, "What is he talking about? I never exercised ever in my life until I came here." Now, I've been coming here for 6 years. And I'm like, "How can I train when I never trained? I don't know what I'm doing." I That's what I had to think about. >> Right. And >> about the pros and the cons before I commit to anything. >> Right. And what I saw was that people

15:02 were going to respond to you because you walked the walk, okay? You came in not knowing anything. You weren't born healthy. You weren't born with this knowledge that, you know, you could work out and lift weights and have success. You had to learn it, and you learned it the best way. You learned it the hard way. You learned it through blood, sweat, and tears, you know, you you went through agony, you went through hard days, you know, but you had somebody you had people, a community of people supporting you and and helping you and telling you great job, you know, way to

15:32 go. And then I saw you doing this on your own without being a trainer, walking by somebody didn't know very well, and encouraging them and telling them and you always had this you know, you always carried this very positive attitude. So, I knew that if you did try it that you would make a big big difference in people's lives the same as my trainer did for me. He made the the biggest difference in my life and you know, me being able to make a difference in your life and I think that's what's really special about this this whole process of hiring trainers that have

16:03 been through some hard times and some hardship in their life. They they start they build an empathy. They they build a sense of, you know, camaraderie. You understand when people are struggling. You understand when they are hurting, when they don't think they could do those one or two more reps and you you you know because you've been there and you can encourage them and help them. And again, it flips in their mind. They say, "Wow, if this person can do this and she did it, she knows what she's talking about. I don't want to let her down. I have more in me." What sort of impact has being able to take what

16:35 you've learned and and channel that and be able to help other people? What kind of impact has that had? >> It's really changed my life for the better. I am able to do things now that I couldn't have done 5 years ago. That's for sure. I look at the people in the gym when we are training and see what they do. I'm very observant and I'm like, "Wow, I never tried that before. Let me see if I can do that." I don't focus on my age. I don't feel that I look and act my age. To me, it's just a number on a piece of paper, but I look

17:06 at everybody ain't really is much younger than me and I'm like, "Doesn't matter." I'm like, "Oh, he can do that with the battle ropes? I'm going to do that." >> Funny story and I have a a 100 different stories like this about Karen, but um she always picks up our water and brings in our water supplies. Uh and these are what? Bottle cases. And one day uh a gentleman saw her pull up and didn't know her very well. And he goes, "Oh, I better go help her. Uh she might be struggling with that water." She comes walking in with two of them uh stacked,

17:38 and he carried the one in and after she left he goes, "Man, we better start pushing a little harder." I could barely carry the one and she was carrying two at a time. So, you know, I'm like, "Yeah, you have no idea what this woman is capable of." Let me ask you this. For the people that watch this, for the people that are listening to this, for the people who need help and they're unsure and they want to take that bold and decisive step to change their life, but they're just kind of afraid to take that first step cuz it is scary and you've walked in those shoes. What would your advice be to somebody who wants change, but they just are

18:10 afraid to take that first step? >> Taking the first step is by far the most difficult item that you have to do in the whole process. You just have to take a deep breath and just walk through that door and just do it. And you can do it and then the next day you do something more and then more and more. And slowly but surely, not only is your strength building up, your endurance, but your confidence. And it's like, "I've got this." >> I think you nailed it right on the head there. You know, it's the confidence and and all these things that may be going

18:41 through your mind at first when you're starting on how hard something is or how your your brain may be filled with all sorts of doubt. These are replaced by the possibilities and by, you know, okay, wow, I really am stronger than I thought. I didn't think I could do this. I mean, how many times a day do we hear people say that? They're like, you know, wow, I I'm really impressed uh that I was able to even finish this set. And then the next week, you know, you take that set and go, "Okay, look, last week you did x amount. You want to try a little bit more?" And they're like, "Sure, you know, why not? Let me try and

19:12 see because if you don't make it, okay, and then we'll try it again the following week." But all of a sudden all all these can's become can's and all these impossibilities become possible. And it is a state of mind. I I think that when the body starts to shut down, you know, under the stress, I think it's the mind that will carry us the rest of the way. That has to be learned. That has to be learned and it not only makes us stronger here physically in a gym environment, but it helped me a lot outside of the gym. Whenever life got really hard, you know,

19:42 whenever there were challenges in my life outside of working out and I'd say, "Okay, I know that if I just stay positive, if I just stay on target and don't lose focus, then I'm going to rise above these challenges, too." So, the things that I learned inside of here carried well past the doors of of the gym world. What does your family think now after you've become a trainer, you've break broken so many personal records yourself, and now you're helping and inspiring other people? What What do they think now? >> They're like, "Way to go, Mom. We're

20:12 really proud of you. I know you could do it. And oh my god, you lifted that? I can't even do that. You're stronger than I am." >> Well, Karen, I I want to thank you for joining us here today at Body by Phil. And, you know, I hear it weekly and I probably don't tell you enough, but you have inspired so many people including myself. In fact, there are many many days I can't even tell you how many times I'm trying to push myself and I'll think about you and how hard you fought, how far you have fought, and you never quit, never relent. And that actually

20:42 will help push me to go a little bit further and a little bit harder. So, I want to thank you for that and thank you for all that you're doing to help people here because they really respond to you. They've watched you go through these changes and you have so much respect from everybody that comes in here. One of my favorite people. So, thank you, Karen. >> Thank you for having me. >> And remember, guys, take that bold and decisive step whenever you are ready. When you know that you're ready for real change. It's a scary thing to take that first initial leap, but it's worth it.

21:14 It is worth it because this is your life and you're never going to know how far you could have gone or how far you can go until you take that bold jump, take that leap. Don't be one of those people who wait their whole life and wonder what could have been. Take the chance, you're worth it, it's your life and you can do this. Remember guys, everything is one step at a time, one day at a time. Thanks for listening to the Body by Phil podcast. Catch you next time.